JXDN - love, loss and tiktok
That's when everything changed. That's when I went from just singing to making music. It constantly controlled my thoughts.
We caught up with Dynamic artists, JXDN in Sana Ana a while back and discussed, love, life and loss.
GC: How have been? We’ve been listening to the new songs and there seems to be a lot of personal reflection.
JXDN: Definitely, I thought that my job was to run away from the pain. Pain is never gonna go away. So, I was like how can I take the pain and turn it into my purpose. I could kinda be Jaden the hustler but I'm realizing very recently that I'm just Jaden.
GC: That’s good, that’s healthy.
JXDN: You know what I mean? Whatever you hear is what it is. And so hopefully, I get to a point where it's so clear who I am. People don't have any choice but to follow or at least be who they are, you know, in return. I had a dream of being something great in the world. All I knew is that I just loved singing. So anytime I could, I would sing. I started singing because of Justin Bieber, genuinely. I remember the day I watched Never Say Never, and I cried so hard. I was, like, 9 years old…or 8.
GC: Sounds like a great memory!
JXDN: I was just, like, this is what I wanna do. You know, when you're a kid, you see something crazy and I don't know… I just felt a connection with him, so I started singing because of that reason. Even then, I didn't know that I could be anything. I didn't mind failing. I failed all the time. But music started speaking to me very vividly. I listen to everything.
GC: What other kind of music were you listening to?
JXDN: I love the blues. I love jazz. Like, I love blues like Stevie Ray Vaughan. Yeah. And then I went to Chattanooga, Tennessee. My dad got a job out there. I watched a lot of Marilyn Manson's live performances. Watched a lot of Korn's live performances. A lot of Guns N' Roses. I think they're it's just little things like the Sex Pistols or watching Oasis perform even way back then.
JXDN: And at this point, I was like, I will do anything to get out of here. I didn't wanna stay there. I felt trapped. My family was poor. I didn't wanna end up like everyone else around me. I didn't wanna end up like my dad. So I just took a chance. I was like, I gotta get out. So that that's kind of the connection a lot of people don't know about social media. And social media was just my way out. Now I realize, oh, I have this platform. I can start doing my passions, which is singing. So I just started singing all the time, and that's what brought me out to LA.
GC: What were your early days in L.A. like?
JXDN: That's when everything changed. That's when I went from just singing to music. It constantly controls my thoughts. Everything I think of nowadays leads to, like, what can I do with this music? And music to me is also 90% of music is made outside of the studio in my opinion. So music to me is also living life. Falling in love, falling out of love, feeling pain, you know, learning lessons. Like, it's so much more than just a sound to me. And so it was really great for a long time. Best of both worlds, getting to make music, not feeling the stress of, like, being signed to anyone yet. And I also got introduced to, like, a shit ton of drugs, because I I didn't grow up doing drugs when I was here. In high school I got into like pills a little bit just because people would, like, break something and get something for the pain so I was in for that. And I didn't even really smoke heavy, so when I came out to LA it was just all this new, this entire new world. And I was like, fuck. Yes. Of course. I'm doing this. My whole life, I've been told not to. My whole life, it's been like this almost like devil. Right? And so, that was where I just pressed the gas all the way down, and I I just went for it.
GC: I’m assuming this the answer is yes but, any regrets?
JXDN: You know? I feel like a lot of people nowadays do, or a lot of kids would do in my position. I went through so much in the past 4 years. Emotional hurt, you know, just like genuine pain. I had a best friend that was extremely addicted to drugs throughout all of this. Me and him connected really early, and I just loved him as a human being. From the first moment, it felt like he was, like, my soul mate, genuinely. I didn't necessarily know it at the time when I met him, but I felt something very special, and we just stuck together for 2 years. It was an in and out battle of him doing drugs, getting to a really bad point and overdosing.
GC: I’m so sorry.
JXDN: I didn't have necessarily a problem like that. And he was my best friend. I loved him… his name was Cooper. I ended up doing my tour, my first headline tour. He comes out, sees me. Right at the beginning of this tour. My girlfriend and I broke up, which was really hard for me. We had a serious relationship. So I I wasn't talking to her. There's some things with me and him that he was going through, and so we weren't really talking much. I was gone for 2 months. Then I come home, and he dies. I hit the most rock bottom I've ever had in my entire life after Cooper died.
GC: Oh no, condolences. So sorry for your loss, Jaden. He sounds like he was a special person and a great friend. So, so sorry.
JXDN: I've had to rebuild myself again in a very short amount of time, and it's been hard, and it's been weird. And, I don't think I've done a very good job for a lot of it, but he he was so troubled, you know, more than he had he had so much he was running from in his brain, and he was with the best kid in the world. And that kinda shows you that, you know, the brain's a powerful thing, and it if you don't know who you are, the smallest thing can take you out in a matter of a second, you know.
GC: Absolutely. There’s a thin line.
JXDN: And so that's why I realized the most important thing for me above anything, above even sobbing, i've done a lot of things to help myself and that is my number one priority right now. As selfish as it sounds, it's it's actually quite the opposite. It's just myself. Myself is my priority above anything. Because if I'm not I'm not good, I'm not taking care of all these people who follow me or look up to me, how could they be good?
Fan who walks up during the interview (outside the venue we’re at):
I love Jaden because he has helped me through a lot of trauma in my life, and I'm still here because of him. And it's crazy to say that he's really changed my life, but he did. He really sings about, things everybody goes through and things that I go through and a lot of substance addictions that I've had. He has helped me through a lot, so I'd say he's pretty amazing for everything he's done for me. He gives people the courage to be themselves, and that's something that's super important, especially in this day and age. If he shows, like, vulnerability, like, he doesn't care if people say, like, oh, you're weak for this, you're weak for that. He's, like, this is my story and I'm putting it out there. And to me, like, I admire that because it shows, like, how strong he is and, like, how he just doesn't like, he doesn't give a fuck.
JXDN (Talking with his band): This is our fucking life. Like, we put everything into this shit. Every single one of y'all puts everything you have into believing into someone or believing in yourself, and, I can't be more grateful. So for tonight, for me, if you can, please just feel something. That's my only goal. That's the only reason I make music. That's the only legacy I wanna leave behind is being able to make people leave better than they came. So, please, thank you so much for being here. I love y'all. Have a very good night.Team Jaden, baby. Whoo. Let's go, baby. Oh, bro. I love you so much.
JXDN: If everything went away, I would still have that. Energy is is always immaculate. But ultimately, I want to continue to curate more and more moments for people to feel things they've never felt before. That's what I care about. How and maybe this isn't gonna help people at all. You know? Maybe this isn't gonna do anything except make somebody ask themselves a question. You know? Maybe it's not all of my work.I don't know. I just like this constant thinking, constant going over, giving it that energy. I think that's why it has that effect. I wanna save the world. That's it.
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